הספקתי להעתיק את זה לפני כן, מזל. אבל מוזר.

I'm not sure this is how I'm supposed to feel. I honestly think I can't live here. Why do I feel bad about every little thing? I'm not happy. I want to be, but I'm not. I have good days and great days, but I also have terrible days which make me feel like I'm going back and everything will fall apart in a minute. I don't need advices, I know all the answers by myself. I know what I should do. But once and for all I would like to have a person I could talk to at the end of the day. I don't want to be anybody's project and I can't trust my friends. I can't even trust my family. They are all great, but I can't have them too involved in my life. I need to choose my people. I looked at the mirror today and realized I have some green in my eyes. I never look at myself in the mirror. Never. When I put makeup on I need to stand very close to the mirror because I need to take off my glasses, so I don't really see how I look. And I never allow myself to look in the eye. Not mine, not other's. Today I did it. And I'm so beautiful. So beautiful. Camera isn't good for me. But I had red eyes cause I cried and I had a hard day so my skin wasn't at it's best, yet I was beautiful. My eyes were green, my hair was absoulutly gorgeous, my teeth are perfect, and when I cried I could see that I'm a human, not just uglyness cring. I'm a woman with feelings who had a rough week without talking about it with anyone, yet I did so many good things. Yet I have so much to offer. I told myself the words I needed to hear for so long and never hear- I love you. I love you for who you are and what you do and where you want to be. And I will keep on fighting cause I do it the best way. And someday I won't be the only one who think I'm beautiful and litterly say it to me. Someday someone will remember my birthday. Someday I will have so many people to share my days with, I will never feel that horrible loneliness that almost killed me. And right now, this is a great moment. Right now, I love myself and I can't wait for what the years will bring. Right now I'm beautiful, without makeup, with my glasses on and my end of the day skin. I'm a mess, but I'm me. That's great and it will be greater. I know what I'm doing. I know who my people are. And I'm exactly where I should be, I don't care if they all pitty me and lough about it later. Right now I have my own to myself, and the people I will choose- my husband and my kids- will have the best love anyone could ever give. Cause I know what it's like to be someone's everything. This is what I am right now

ואני אוהבת לקרוא אותך, ןמעריכה אותך ברמות על.

♥♥

Do u always supposed to be on your tip toes when ur sad? I mean it's normal, doesn't mean ur going back to where u were. Ur not too stressed about it?

Sometimes I'm too stressed about it, it's just that last week my therapist told me she thinks I'm bi polar, and it kinda ruined my week. I don't agree with her and we will work it out with my mom next week, but it's scary anyway. Some other things happend the days after, especially yesterday, so at the end of the day I was a total mess. But then again, I worked it out and felt better before I fell asleep
Besides, I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me

Did you watch ep. 2 of jess and gabe's series?

Too much editing. But they're sweet

Actually I liked the way they did it. Can't wait to see her mom's full reaction

https://www.inn.co.il/Forum/Forum.aspx/f105

קשה לי לראות אנגלית..

אבל כן, בגדול..

 

בעצם תעשי מה שבא לך

לא נח, אל תקראי
יש אנשים שיותר קל להם להביע עצמם באנגלית או שמרגישים כך יותר בנח

זה יותר פורום ללימוד אנגלית.

טוב סליחה על הערה, לא הייתי צריכה לכתוב את זה..