"I want to get better"

I need to remember that

It seems impossible now

But I wanna believe so bad that it can get better

My PTSD is controlling me

And I wanna take care of that

I don't know how

But I want to

Next week I'll see her

I hope she can help

I'm tired

Of everything

I need to get some rest but I don't know how

Tomorrow I'll go to the ocean and it'll make me feel better

I have no power at the moment

I need to eat soon and it's difficult right now

I just wanna feel okay for a while

Is that too much to ask

Tatte I need you

Please help me

I don't know how But I need help

My parents think that I'm better but I'm not

I'm literally drowning

I'm trying to keep my head above the water

But it's so hard

Today was a lot

She asked me if she can help and I told her I don't wanna talk about it

I'm silent and that's bad

But i can't talk

It's so hard for me I don't know how to do it

God I need you

Make it a little bit easier please

I'm begging you

Please 

Like literally WTF

I'm kinda scared

And it's not good

At all

And I need to know it'll get dealt with

It reminded me the time in the hospital and it's bad

What do I do

Dammit

https://www.israelhayom.co.il/news/environment/article/21587227

נכנסים בלילה למקעקע

תל אביב

אני מתיישב

והוא אומר לי שלכל אחד יש אלף קעקועים עליו

רק צריך להסתכל

אצלי הם צפים מלמטה אז זה קל

רק ללחוץ במקום הנכון ולהעתיק

I hate that I feel like this

I'm supposed to have fun but I'm crying in bed with a terrible headache

The pill didn't help

And I need to sleep for a million years

Why am I like this

Fuck

https://www.israelhayom.co.il/tech/space/article/21453288

Choi wan - גודזילה בדרך לשום מקום

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