I hate this
I hate everything about it
And I hate myself about it
And I more and more tends to think that it happened in my childhood
Because I can't remember anything but I have all the symptoms and if it didn't happen then I'm screwed
I can't justify this in any way
I'm a stupid little addicted girl
Even there
How messed up am I
Ugh. I'm disgusting
I know I should tell someone about it but I can't
I just can't
It's humiliating
It's bad
And I'm not supposed to be like that
I know I'm ruining my life and my future and all of it
I just can't
I saw someone wrote that all he's talking about is this and I can't help myself but think I'm a terrible person and I just wanna disappear forever
I don't want this
I don't want the urges I don't want the feeling that I have to do it I don't want any of that
But I can't.
And it's awful
And every single time it makes me wanna disappear
Oh god I need to sleep
I hate this
I hate myself
Can I disappear forever please
(Do not respond)
